Confidence Archives - Carmen Horne

In this season of sadness mixed with gladness for God’s mercy in my Mom dying, my Bible reading plan marched on and left me. What to do? I debated whether I should start on the current date, or start where I stopped. Now all you type A folks (I’m not quite there, but I resemble it at times. I am a first-born. So there you go.) know that unmarked boxes will drive us crazy so I have decided being behind is much better than unmarked boxes :-D

The Old Testament is so much like reading a diary that missing any of it makes me think I’m missing something big, deep and probably confusing, Ha!

Also, I really enjoy the OT because a personal relationship can be developed with so many of the people. Some of them we meet only briefly, but others we are allowed to get to know more intimately. They become our people.

Y’all, David is my people.

Lil’ ol’ whipper snapper David whoops Goliath, is Saul’s BFF, get’s called by God to be Israel’s next king…then he’s not Saul’s BFF…is a great warrior, a loyal friend, and loyal subject to his king.

And, so very human in his behavior.

I’m deep in his story. Exciting, harrowing, amazing. God saves David’s life time after time. Then I read this:

But David kept thinking to himself, “Someday Saul is going to get me. The best thing I can do is escape to the Philistines. Then Saul will stop hunting for me in Israelite territory, and I will finally be safe.” 1 Samuel 27:1 NLT Emphasis mine

David, David, David we are so alike. Am I in your family line?

I read this about David and think, Get ahold of yourself. You just stepped over Saul’s men and stole his sword and water jug “…because the Lord had put Saul’s men into a deep sleep.”

The more David thinks about Saul, the more he feels the need to make a plan. His plan. What happened between 1 Samuel 26 and 27? He does what I often do, he starts thinking about what could have happened.

God answers my prayers. He’s merciful and graceful to me. He provides what is needed in a situation, and then I start shaking in my boots because what if He doesn’t do it next time.

Do you get caught up in that kind of distrust too? I’d like to call it something prettier, less convicting, something that sounds less like sin, but it just smacks of distrust. Sigh.

My comfort comes with the knowledge that God never left David. He might have spanked him a few times for disobedience, but He never left him. He used him mighty and blessed his descendants for a gazillion generations. Jesus was the most beautiful branch in his family tree.

Remember this chorus?

And He’ll do it again
He’ll do it again.
If you’ll just take a look
At where you are now
And where you have been.
Hasn’t He always come through for you?
He’s the same now as then.
Don’t you know God has not changed;
You may not know how,
You may not know when,
But He’ll do it again ~Dawn Thomas (Constance Change) – He’ll Do It Again

God knows us. We are His people too. David reminds us, “For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.” Psalm 103:14 NASB

Lord, help us live in the peaceful heart knowledge of Your mercy, grace, love, and care. Thank you for Your patience with us. We want to be people who You can say, “They are women and men after my heart.” We ask in Jesus’ name.

I’m thinking about hard times today. A dear friend moved in with Jesus a few days ago. She courageously fought cancer. I hate to say she lost that battle. I mean, that’s the perplexing nature of our faith in Jesus, right? When we must leave this world (as we all must) did we lose or gain? Today she dances with Jesus – healed, whole, singing (she sang beautifully) and maybe even playing the piano (another talent of hers). Such a paradox.

Other friends and family of ours struggle with cancer, amputations, paralysis, diabetes, chronic lung and heart disease – I could keep going. The question that bubbles up in my heart is, “How do they keep going?” How have you and I kept going when we want to say stop and let us off this merry-go-round?

Recently I was listening to Pastor Mark Batterson speak about surviving tough, maybe even horrendous situations. He spoke of Vice Admiral James Stockdale. Mr. Stockdale was a Vietnam POW who spent 7 1/2 years in the infamous Hanoi Hilton. The story he told was griping and filled with faith. He quotes Mr. Stockdale, “I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted that I would get out but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life. Which in retrospect, I would not trade.”

When asked about why some did not make it out. “They were optimist. They thought, ‘We will be released by Christmas.’ Then Christmas came and went and they we were still there. ‘We will be out by Easter.’ ‘Thanksgiving…’ They died of a broken heart.”

Then, Mr. Stockdale is quoted as saying this, “Never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality whatever they may be.” Here is where you find the Stockdale paradox – confront the brutal facts but never lose faith.

This reminds me of a few Bible characters. Joseph and Paul were in desperate situations but they believed they would prevail. They believed that God had a plan and He would see it through. It also reminds me of my sweet stepdad, Tommy. Tommy was a POW in the Korean Conflict (lets not kid ourselves, that was a war!). He rarely speaks about it but one day he talked about some of the ways he survived. And, why some did not. He said, “I did what it took to make it.” That statement included many things he wished he would have never faced. He fought to live but also disciplined himself to face facts.

Job said it like this, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him…” Jesus speaks plainly in John 16:33. Fact, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows…” Promise, “But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Pastor Mark gives us 3 points to encourage us:

This too shall pass. Trials don’t come to stay. They come to pass. Life is lived in seasons.
It’s OK to not be OK. Be honest. There are times we can’t overcome alone. Moses needed Aaron and Hur to lift his hands. It takes courage to say, “I’m really struggling.”
The obstacle is the way. We want to go around. Most of the time, we must go through. This huge obstacle in Jesus’ life (the Cross) was the way.

Recently Lary and I vacationed in NYC for our wedding anniversary. We walked, a lot. After hours I (I’m sure he did too) would begin to get so weary. I would want to stop. But, I thought, “You are almost there. Just a few more blocks. One more block. Just one more and you can rest.” Then I would get to that block and think, “Keep going. You are almost there.”

Faith is going just one more block. Then another. It’s not easy. Some things we face are so hard, we must fight for our faith. It will take a strength that we don’t posses on our own. But God…

God Will Do It Again

When Life Takes More Than We’ve Got