Carmen Horne

Pursuing Hope Together

  • Home
  • A Little About Carmen
  • Life Coaching
    • Coaching Opportunities
  • Images to Share
  • A Gift For You
  • Contact

He is Risen!

by Carmen Horne Leave a Comment

“He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen…” 

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • More
  • Print
  • Tumblr
  • Pocket
  • LinkedIn

Honoring a Parent that’s Not Always Honorable

by Carmen Horne 4 Comments

So, you know how you are going about life and Holy Spirit sends a word (one you are not expecting) and your heart feels that tug of conviction? Pastor Robert Morris was teaching on the Ten Commandments and he landed on number five, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” He didn’t get very far into his message when I realized that I didn’t need to listen to Pastor Morris, Holy Spirit wanted to do some preaching to my heart. 

How in the sam hill (southern saying for something that seems impossible) do you honor a parent that does not always act honorable? Let me put my self-righteous hat on (you know, that one that fits so well) because I tend to have a smidgen of pride in this area. My dear ole Dad (as he called himself) was less than honorable in several ways. Our difficult history together runs painfully deep and wide at different points in our relationship. Yet, I became his care giver and his medical advocate for many years before his death. I don’t think anyone would have fought harder for his life than I did. 

Putting aside our difficulties, I tried my best to make sure he had the best of care. Even with him working against me some of the way, we trudged on. So, why would I be convicted? 

Honoring our parents has so many facets. Gosh, so many.

The facet I am talking with you about today is speaking well of them – while they are alive and after they have left this world. I have been guilty of retelling some of the ugly part of his story to folks when there was no good reason. Ugh, this makes my heart ache. Is that honor? 

I’m not talking about deception. There are some behaviors that my Dad exhibited that I cannot speak well of. So, there you go. Wasn’t it Thumper who said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”?

What to do? The Bible has a lot to say about our speech. Here are a few that stung my heart and made me look at them in the light of honor:

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9 ESV

You will say the wrong thing if you talk too much—so be sensible and watch what you say. Proverbs 10:19 CEV

My dear friends, with our tongues we speak both praises and curses. We praise our Lord and Father, and we curse people who were created to be like God, and this isn’t right. James 3:9 CEV

When I’m gone from this world, I don’t want included in my every mention something I did wrong. You know how when the media mentions a celebrity and classifies them by their biggest scandal? Geez, can we stop that?

Forgiveness of our less than honorable parents includes the willingness to give up telling the world their imperfections and wrong doings when it really has no positive value. It only stirs up our hearts to anger and disappointment all over again. We don’t need that. If we need a counselor to talk with and tell the ugly to, then let’s get one. Let’s get it told and work through the pain and then, for our own emotional, spiritual, and physical health, speak life. Let’s live life and grab hold of that promise from the Ten Commandments, “… that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

Coaching Tip

Ask God to help you see positive traits in your parents – especially the parent/parents who seem to have only negative ones. Each night for five nights, write down one positive. They are there. We need Holy Spirit guided eyes to uncover them.

Lord, help us see the positive traits of our Mom and/or Dad. Our pain has hidden the good. We only see the bad. Open our eyes that we may see them as You do. When our relationships are able to be restored, please restore. When no healthy relationship is possible, please help us to place boundaries were needed but also help us understand how to honor them and bring You glory. In the name of our Peace Giver, Jesus, we ask these things. Amen

Linking with Holley Gerth 

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • More
  • Print
  • Tumblr
  • Pocket
  • LinkedIn
Next Page »

Connect with Me

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Subscribe for Updates


Enter your email to receive blog updates in your inbox, and a FREE gift from me - a list of my favorite resources for encouragement!

What Others Are Saying…

"Rarely will you find a woman with such a servant’s heart as Carmen Horne. I have had the pleasure of attending many church events, trips, and girl lunches with Carmen over the past sixteen years. She continues to be one of my favorite mentors whether in North Louisiana or on the beach in Florida, which is probably OUR FAVORITE place! She uses her kind and faithful heart when giving advice or mentoring others. Carmen is truly a light to many and guides you to find the light in yourself no matter how faint it may be. Hebrews 13:7"

Dianne A.

"Carmen writes from her heart and her own life experiences. What she says is always spot on for me. She is a gifted teacher and her love for the Word shows. Carmen is easy to understand and her words always leave me with a deeper understanding of God's love and grace. Her wit and charm make her a joy to listen to. She speaks truth, even when the truth is hard to hear and does it with understanding and compassion."

Karen S.

"It takes a depth of pride to accept our way might not be the best way or the only way...' If Carmen had not already made me a follower of her blog, that one sentence would have had me hooked. It's not always easy to find someone who writes in ways we can relate. Carmen makes me stop and take a deep long look at who I am and where I want to be in my walk with Christ. I trust her to be a truth teller and a peace maker. Not only has she encouraged me so many times, but often my heart is pierced to make a change."

Judy H.

"Carmen always has a word of encouragement for everyone. She makes you feel good about yourself by just being in her presence. She loves Jesus and wants all to know Jesus; the broken, the wounded, the desperate, the empty and the guilty."

Norah A.

"Carmen spoke to us from her heart.  She encouraged us be women of faith. Carmen is very genuine in her love of God and people. Her heart for God is evident in her devotion and also the life she leads."

Deana G.

Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach

Certified Badge

Recent Posts

  • He is Risen!
  • Honoring a Parent that’s Not Always Honorable
  • God’s Waiting Room

Connect on Facebook

Connect on Facebook

Categories

Recent Tweets

My Tweets

Archives

Hopewriter button

Contributing Writer for…

Sweet to the Soul Button llc-blogger
Women at the Well
Declare Conference
I am a member of COMPEL Training
She Speaks Graduate
  • Home
  • A Little About Carmen
  • Life Coaching
  • Images to Share
  • A Gift For You
  • Contact

Copyright © 2018 Carmen Horne | Design by The Design Diva | Programming by MRM

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.