“Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise.” Proverbs 13:18, MSG
I love sharing stories of my childhood. Our adult daughter is now sharing stories about her childhood. Sometimes I remember them the way she does but other times, I don’t recognize the story or even me in the story. Each of us perceives events, even the same event, through the filter of our own life experience. That cloudy view made hazy by age, gender, personality and even hurt and misunderstanding.
Recently as I was working on a lesson in my life coaching course, Sandra Dopf Lee, B.S., Instructor for AACC, mentioned a question that she often asks couples or individuals she is coaching through the divorce process. “What do you want for your children? What do you want your children to say about their childhood when they are 35-40?” I’m a child of divorce so those questions just stopped me and I began to think…
Divorce ends marriages but it never ends parenting our children together. For the rest of our lives, we will be parents. Holidays, birthdays, school functions, hospital visits, teacher conferences, weddings and grandbabies…we will co-parent.
How do we want our children to tell the story of their childhood? You might be thinking it’s too late. My children are grown. It’s never to late to work on restoring our hearts. It could take something as simple as saying, I’m sorry. I didn’t handle our family going through our divorce well. I said, did, behaved in hurtful ways. Please forgive me. True sorrow can begin the healing process beautifully. Do some research. Be a blood hound, uncovering resources, to help preserve the health of your family.
My hope and prayer is that this will be the day we begin to be intentional about writing our family’s story in a positive way. May I pray for you?
Dear Lord, Our hearts are hurting and our actions and words have reflected that pain – sometimes in ugly ways. Please forgive us for our harsh words, actions and attitudes that have damaged those we love. Give us the strength to change and the boldness to ask those we love to forgive us where we have messed up. We want our family’s story to be one of that reflects love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. We may not all live together in one house but our hearts cry is for our children to be healthy and whole. Take the brokenness of our family and make something beautiful out of our pain. Thank you Lord for Your love and patience with us. Thank you for walking with us every step of the way. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen