Carmen Horne

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How the healing came…

by Carmen Horne 12 Comments

One thing I knew, I needed God to heal me.

When we last visited, I shared a dark time in my life and how physical illness can usher in depression. I also promised to share how God performed a miracle in my mind and body.

I am a church girl. It didn’t matter if I went with my mom, grandmother or rode the church bus, I was there. It amazes me to think that I had grown up in church but had such a superficial relationship with God. I had spent years teaching yet only read the Bible when I was studying for a lesson. When this illness hit me like a Mack truck, I felt like I had no foundation. When you are at your wits end and you are feeling hopeless, you grasp for anything or anybody that might just bring relief. During those wilderness months, I grew a hunger for God’s Word, prayer and listening to every sermon I could find.  All the energy I could muster was focused on being healed.

As I look back now I see where God was using this situation to draw me closer to Him.

How the healing came...9-4-14 pic

Only God knows why things happen the way they do.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” Isaiah 55:8 (NLT)

God’s ways change and how He work varies from person to person and situation to situation. If they didn’t we’d all be spitting in the mud or dunking seven times in a river somewhere. He has proven over and over that He will decide the hows. My healing was a process. He was working with me on it over those months but I distinctly remember a change happened one day – in the bathtub.

As I sat in the warm water and cried like a baby, the reality of my situation was overwhelming. It was a Sunday morning and my family had already left for church. I rarely went. It took every bit of my energy to bath and dress. The television was on in the bedroom – tuned to Christian Sunday morning broadcasting.

I was begging God. Please heal me. Why haven’t you healed me? Where are You? If my daughter needed healing and I had the power, I would heal her! 

Please tell me I’m not alone. Haven’t you felt this way? Have you ever asked God the hard questions that almost seem disrespectful. I mean, good church girls don’t interrogate God, right?

As I stood in our bedroom and looked at the television, Gloria Copeland was teaching on healing. I stopped to listen because I needed what she was giving – a word from God. I’m just going to be transparent here. I didn’t check her credentials or study her theology. I didn’t really even know who she was. When we are desperate before God, we are willing to do what we have never done to get something we have never had. I listened and hoped that God had a word for me and He was going to use her to give it.

How the healing came...9-4-14 pic2

As she finished teaching on healing and miracles, she asked those of us who needed a healing to raise our hand, pray with her and receive what God had for us. I raised my hand and with all the faith I could muster, I said, “God I know you are going to heal me. I receive it in the mighty name of Jesus.”

I would like to say I walked away that morning with no symptoms of my illness. I can’t. What I walked away with was peace. From that day forward, I felt a little better every day. I grew stronger and had less fear. I began to smile again. I continued to read, pray and seek. I went to a specialist who diagnosed me correctly with a viral illness that settled in the muscles around my heart. The only lasting effects I have today is a premature beat that most often shows up when I am stressed or extremely fatigued.

I don’t understand why some of us are healed and some of us are not. I don’t understand why some of us seem to never get sick while some of us struggle with health issues every day. What I do know is that God does still perform miracles. I don’t always know if He will, but I always know He can.

Do you need healing today? May I pray for you?

Dear loving Father,

We come to you with thanksgiving realizing that because of what You did for us on Calvary we can come to You as a child would come to her dad. We need healing Lord. You are the Great Physician. We lay our hearts, bodies, children, marriages – our very lives before You. We believe You are who You say You are and can do what You say You can do. When we doubt, help us overcome our doubts. “And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease. Mark 5:34 (ESV) Heal us Lord. We asked all these things in the mighty name of Jesus! Amen

If you missed the first post in my healing story, hop over here…

I am linking up with Holly Barrett’s Testimony Tuesday, Holley Gerth , Meredith Bernard-Women2Woman , Barbie at The Weekend Brew and Laura at Faith Filled Friday.

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Filed Under: Faith, Hope & Joy, Healing

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Comments

  1. Renee @Doorkeeper says

    September 6, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    Such a lovely strengthening post! I’m scheduled a tweet to share your graphic this week. Thanks for sharing this & for visiting me at Doorkeeper. Blessings, Carmen!

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      September 6, 2014 at 3:19 pm

      I am so glad you were encouraged Renee. Thank you for sharing my graphic. I look forward to visiting more often. God bless your ministry!

      Reply
  2. Jedidja says

    September 6, 2014 at 9:33 am

    Thank you for this special post!

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      September 6, 2014 at 3:18 pm

      You are so welcome Jedidja! Thank you for visiting me. Come again soon!

      Reply
  3. Barbie says

    September 5, 2014 at 12:29 am

    What a beautiful testimony of God’s healing power! Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      September 5, 2014 at 6:51 am

      I’m glad you came by for the “rest of the story” Barbie. I understand the anxiety of needing a healing. As I wrote, I asked God to help me convey His love, peace and power to perform miracles when we least expect it and in surprising ways. I had definitely prayed for healing before. God has a timing.

      Come see me again soon!

      Reply
  4. ~Karrilee~ says

    September 4, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Carmen, this is so beautiful! What a testimony! I am so glad that you shared it here! I am visiting from Holly’s place and we are neighbors today for Testimony Tuesday! Praying in agreement for healing with you for all who prayed that prayer!

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      September 4, 2014 at 8:18 pm

      Thank you Karrilee! It is wonderful to know we are agreeing in prayer for the healing of all who prayed. I had someone contact me today and tell me she forwarded the link to her friend with Cancer. I told her that we were agreeing with them for her healing. Thank you for your willingness to help those you don’t even know. God bless!

      Reply
  5. Mary Dolan Flaherty says

    September 4, 2014 at 11:07 am

    Carmen, I just linked up with Holley Garth today (very new for me) and I was supposed to leave a comment on the blog posted before mine, but yours caught my eye. I have been dealing with some strange medical thing for a few months where I feel like my heart stops while I’m falling asleep, and my cardiologist has ruled out some long scary named thing, which basically means a weak heart. I’ve been to an ENT, who says it could be sleep apnea, but it’s only as I’m falling asleep. I can’t even describe the weird feeling, and at this point, I sometimes wonder how much is physical, how much is mental and how much is spiritual. I know how something physical can affect you emotionally and even spiritually. But God spoke very specifically to me the other night and every time I try to share it with someone, He stops me. Maybe because I don’t even get it yet. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so transparent. God truly is in charge of the whys, the hows and the whens.

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      September 4, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      Mary I am so glad you stopped by to share. Physical stuff does affect so many areas of our lives. I sure hope your answers come quick about this heart issue. I’ve been there! I look forward to hearing what God revealed to you. Let me know :) God bless!

      Reply
  6. Ellen Chauvin says

    September 4, 2014 at 8:25 am

    Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      September 4, 2014 at 8:13 pm

      Thank you Ellen. I’m glad you stopped by to visit.

      Reply

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What Others Are Saying…

"Rarely will you find a woman with such a servant’s heart as Carmen Horne. I have had the pleasure of attending many church events, trips, and girl lunches with Carmen over the past sixteen years. She continues to be one of my favorite mentors whether in North Louisiana or on the beach in Florida, which is probably OUR FAVORITE place! She uses her kind and faithful heart when giving advice or mentoring others. Carmen is truly a light to many and guides you to find the light in yourself no matter how faint it may be. Hebrews 13:7"

Dianne A.

"Carmen writes from her heart and her own life experiences. What she says is always spot on for me. She is a gifted teacher and her love for the Word shows. Carmen is easy to understand and her words always leave me with a deeper understanding of God's love and grace. Her wit and charm make her a joy to listen to. She speaks truth, even when the truth is hard to hear and does it with understanding and compassion."

Karen S.

"It takes a depth of pride to accept our way might not be the best way or the only way...' If Carmen had not already made me a follower of her blog, that one sentence would have had me hooked. It's not always easy to find someone who writes in ways we can relate. Carmen makes me stop and take a deep long look at who I am and where I want to be in my walk with Christ. I trust her to be a truth teller and a peace maker. Not only has she encouraged me so many times, but often my heart is pierced to make a change."

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"Carmen always has a word of encouragement for everyone. She makes you feel good about yourself by just being in her presence. She loves Jesus and wants all to know Jesus; the broken, the wounded, the desperate, the empty and the guilty."

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"Carmen spoke to us from her heart.  She encouraged us be women of faith. Carmen is very genuine in her love of God and people. Her heart for God is evident in her devotion and also the life she leads."

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