Carmen Horne

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When I Feel Ugly…

by Carmen Horne 12 Comments

I love the days when my hair is perfect (well almost perfect), my double chin is hiding and my crow’s feet (laugh lines when I feel pretty) aren’t so prominent. This isn’t one of those days. Choosing my outfit today was like an episode of “What Not To Wear”. The glaring difference was my scowling face as I put on each piece. At first glance, my closet looks as if it took a deep breath, exhaled, and the clothes burst forth like I feel my muffin top did over my pants.

Proverbs 31:30 says “beauty is fleeting…” I’m not quite sure that’s my verse for today. Yet, verse after verse, the Bible assures me true beauty has nothing to do with outward appearance. My head understands this but my heart is a slow learner.

Lisa Bevere is quoted as saying, “I never thought I was a bully…until I listened to how I speak to myself. I think I owe myself an apology.” Guilty! I often deflect a compliment quickly, convincing my admirer I am unworthy of her kind words. Instead of saying thank you, I immediately point out the flaws. Many of the women I love and think are fabulous struggle with this issue.  Do we think this is humility? Are we concerned we will be considered vain? God is never impressed with humility that undervalues His creation.

You are valuable.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Take every thought captive. Often when I try to take my thoughts captive, they wrestle like a WWE wrestler. Just when I think they are down, they slam me to the mat.

I am learning to look for the truth in a situation and question my thoughts. Not what I feel, but what I know. The Bible tells me my heart can be deceitful, therefore the truth may not be clearly obvious.

I ask:

1) What does the Bible say about me?

2) What do those whom I trust say about me?

3) If I were speaking to another woman, what advice would I give her?

Outward beauty can be fleeting. It will fade. Solomon gives great wardrobe advice in verse twenty-five, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future.” Strength and dignity, an ensemble I want others to see when I come near.

Until we visit again,
Carmen

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Comments

  1. Betsy Cruz says

    June 3, 2014 at 3:45 am

    Hi Carmen! That question “If I were speaking to another woman, would I tell her this?” or “what would I tell her?” is a great one. I’ll have to remember that. We can all relate.

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      June 4, 2014 at 8:27 pm

      Thank you Betsy for visiting! I often ask others when they are struggling with a decision how they would counsel another woman. It seems to bring it more into perspective. I appreciate your thoughts.

      Reply
  2. Carmen says

    June 3, 2014 at 12:11 am

    Thank you Shayla for your kinds words! God is so sweet to send you my way for encouragement. I’m glad you stopped by for a visit :)

    Reply
  3. Shayla Beecher says

    June 2, 2014 at 11:44 pm

    Carmen! What honesty! I love you and you, my dear are have gorgeous words.

    I have a video I think you would appreciate. I know first hand that it is hard to feel beautiful.

    http://vimeo.com/83100507

    Reply
  4. Doris says

    May 29, 2014 at 12:54 am

    Wonderful post Carmen! I too loved the WWF analogy, and needed to hear that good word on humility. Thanks for sharing a great message we all needed to hear :)

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      May 29, 2014 at 1:33 pm

      Thank you Doris! Someone once said it is pride when we think our view of ourselves is more accurate than God’s. I say, “ouch”. We know how He feels about that pride thing. Glad you stopped by and shared.

      Reply
  5. Abby McDonald says

    May 28, 2014 at 6:36 pm

    I love your visualizations, here! Yes, I have often had to become like a WWE wrestler, too. LOL. It’s so true that we can have confidence in Christ, and He truly does want that for us. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      May 29, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      I’m not quite sure why I struggle with relaxing in the confidence of who I am in Christ. I am definitely a work in progress as well. Your thoughts and visit are appreciated :)

      Reply
  6. Kasey Hanson says

    May 28, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    Very encouraging and you made me laugh a few times. I feel like a WWF wrestler a lot and no one else even knows there is a fight going on. I can relate to much of what you wrote, and I thank you for not leaving us in our own thoughts but pointing to us to God’s word. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      May 28, 2014 at 5:35 pm

      I am so glad I could bring a smile to your face. It is amazing what goes on within us that we never share. Thanks for stopping by :)

      Reply
  7. ordinaryflash says

    May 28, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    Carmen, I love your wrestling analogy when you try and take your thoughts captive! Oh, how many times have I been slammed to the mat also?

    Looking for truth from God’s word – what we know, not what we feel – is valuable advice!
    Ellen

    Reply
    • Carmen says

      May 28, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      Thank Ellen! When I thought of wrestling with my thoughts, I could see it so well.

      Reply

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"Rarely will you find a woman with such a servant’s heart as Carmen Horne. I have had the pleasure of attending many church events, trips, and girl lunches with Carmen over the past sixteen years. She continues to be one of my favorite mentors whether in North Louisiana or on the beach in Florida, which is probably OUR FAVORITE place! She uses her kind and faithful heart when giving advice or mentoring others. Carmen is truly a light to many and guides you to find the light in yourself no matter how faint it may be. Hebrews 13:7"

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