Will you fight for your family?

front door knocker - Suzie's link

Walking from room to room I prayed. Lord, let peace and love reign in our home. May we always be a family. Please bind attacks of the enemy and help us see him coming. Our new home’s construction was almost complete and I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more than the Holy Spirit to be welcomed there.

 
I wanted God to bless our home and our life. And, He did and He does. Isn’t that the desire of every woman – a love and peace filled nest? So maybe you are thinking, “How nice. My home is anything but peaceful. Matter of fact, we live in a battle zone.” Well then, we are battle buddies.

 
Somewhere between the “I dos” and the “happily ever after’s”, every family must suit up and fight the enemy (Eph. 6:11). If you think the enemy is sleeping next to you every night or maybe wearing ear buds and listening to music a few rooms over, you would be wrong.

For when the battle's hot in your family
Satan has a battle plan and our families are the spoils of war he desires. Peter writes about the devil’s main objective in 1 Peter 5:8 (ESV), “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Six families that I love (and I suspect more) are currently on the devil’s menu.

 
In our 37 years of marriage, we have been to war more than once. Our healed scars are our medals.

 
What would I say to those families who are battle weary? What do I say to you?

 
Your family is worth every ounce of strength you have to give. Gosh, I wish I could say this will be easy. That you can quote a few scriptures and say a few prayers and the enemy will get scared and run. I wish…

 
Nope his heels are dug in and he has our own fleshly desires to work with. Our hurts, our emotions, those rights the world tells us we have, our anger, indignation, lust, greed… The devil is a sly ole fox. He will use everything and anything to trip us up and then gleefully watch as our eyes are opened to the devastation – afterwards.

 
So where do we start? Realize who the enemy really is. I can remember walking down the stairs at work one day and saying out loud, Satan, my family belongs to God. Get your hands off! He doesn’t let go easily.

 
We do need to pray – like we never have before. Our faces may need to grow accustomed to the feel of carpet.

 
We do need to read our Bible.

 
Or maybe you will need to find a great Christian counselor – learn how to set up some boundaries – and stop moving the lines.

 

I don’t want to over simplify a very personal process. And, I want you to know that if you are in an abusive relationship, get out and seek help immediately. What I do want to do is offer a little encouragement, hope and few more practical things you can do right now.

 

Recognize your family’s true enemy.

 

Don’t rush. Proverb 19:2 (NLT) says, “Zeal without knowledge is not good; a person who moves too quickly may go the wrong way.” When we make decisions based on emotions only, we often live to regret them. “The human heart is most deceitful…” Jeremiah 17:9 (NLT)

 
Communicate your heart. Keep the dialogue open in your family. May we not pout, give the cold shoulder or the quiet treatment. Be kind but speak the truth in love. Ask yourself, do I need to say this or am I just wanting to be mean?

 

Learn to listen. That’s simply said but oh so hard to do. We all want to make our point. But, the point is that we are a team and we have to fight the enemy together or we will lose.

 

Let’s take a close look at ourselves. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” (Psalm 139:23-24 NLT) This is a prayer God will answer yes to every time.

 

Do you know one of the things I have learned over the years? I can’t change anyone but me.

 

Forgive. This is probably one of the most important gifts you can ever give.

 
Can I tell you friends it’s not time to give up just yet? Relationships are hard and marriage ain’t for sissies. It’s not too late to fight. If you’re not feelin the love, you can learn to love again. You two can laugh together – again. Your marriage can be saved. Ours was.

 

Dear Lord, we need help. We are battle weary and we don’t even like our battle partner right now. Most of the time they look like the enemy. Help us remember who the real enemy is and what his plans are. Don’t let us be tricked. Give us the strength to try again. Renew our hearts and our love for each other. Help us to see each other with new eyes. Empower us to be kind and love like You love. In the empowering name of Jesus, amen.

 

Joining in conversation with Suzie Eller of Proverbs 31 Ministries, Jennifer Dukes Lee at Tell His Story, Lisha Epperson at Give Me Grace and Blogs By Christian Women – Sunday Share

 

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32 Comments

  1. i am fighting. I feel I am fighting a losing battle. My husband says he doesn’t love me any more. He lost his love for me about six years ago he says. Well a year ago I took a break after realizing I had been the victim of emotional and verbal abuse. Now I am working towards reconciliation and he says he just isn’t feeling it. But I know that we need to honor God with keeping our vows. He feels if he can’t love me again that divorce is the only answer. I got him to slow down to “just” a separation. So that is good. I’m praying. Seeking the Lord. Trying to see the ways I need to change and grown in God. Because I know I do. And I pray that God rewards the perseverance. Because I know I still love my husband and desire us to be together.

  2. I REALLY WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME TODAY LADIES.FOR ME IT’S TO LATE MY HUSBAND DIVORCE ME. AND THE BEST PART IS THAT HES MOM THAT CALL HERSELF A CHILD OF GOD SUPPORTED HIM, AND SHE KNEW ALL THE AFFAIRS HE HAD…NOW I MUST BRING UP MY KIDS AS A SINGLE PARENT…

  3. Powerful truth right here>>> “Somewhere between the “I dos” and the “happily ever after’s”, every family must suit up and fight the enemy.” May we suit up each day & be brave for the lives of our family depends on it. So grateful Wanda shared your post! Blessings!

  4. Such a great reminder, Carmen! We are so good at devouring one another when we should be banding together to fight the enemy. Thanks for linking up at Testimony Tuesday!

  5. It’s true our families and marriages are under attack. Satan has won some major battles, especially here in the US, but we know Who wins the war. Being diligent to pray on the home-front makes a difference in the JOY we all experience daily. Great post, Carmen. Blessings.

  6. So, so timely for my family. His encouragement through you is a beautiful thing. Continue to pen, my friend. Women need to hear the encouragement God so wonderfully speaks through your words. (And, I agree with Suzie…the graphic is beautiful and was clicked onto my Pinterest board in record time.)

  7. Carmen, we are neighbors today at Sunday Stillness for which I am grateful. Your words are clear and provoking. God filled you with His Spirit and will bring the readers to this page for His glory.
    Amen.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

  8. Sister Carmen!

    You are one amazing anointed woman of God! I’m nearly speechless at the accuracy of your blog article as it pertains to Spiritual Warfare. I have never read words on a page that appeared like a mirrored image into the wisdom I’ve gained battling Satan in the last 12 years of marriage. Time and time again. Last year being the worst attack EVER!

    Thank you for getting REAL:
    “We do need to pray – like we never have before. Our faces may need to grow accustomed to the feel of carpet.” …in all seriousness!

    There ain’t nothing glamorous about real spiritual warfare with the devil. When I begin my fluent heavenly prayer language, he doesn’t stick around for much longer! It is AMAZING the transformational difference in my husband’s countenance in a matter of a day or two after I break out my secret weapon – praying in tongues.

    The best advice I can offer your followers, Carmen is: To follow this article with crazy faith! Do whatever you need to do to push doubt out of your mind. Praise Him! Worship Him! Meditate on scripture over and over again.

    Like Carmen said, “Gosh, I wish I could say this will be easy.” It is not easy, but you knew this deep inside when you said, “I do”. Don’t let the corruption of the world cause you to loosen your grip! Fight with all you have faith-filled. And let me tell you something, Jesus will give you strength for Round 2:
    “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬ NIV)

    Hallelujah! Don’t let go! Because the devil won’t ever leave you alone. He will just have to find another person’s supercharged emotions to manipulate into doing his bidding. It could be your child up next or a boss or co-worker. So stop him at the command post ladies! You will get stronger and make it harder for the devil to get another punch in elsewhere.

    Carmen, well deserved Congratulations on celebrating 37 years of marriage! That should let all of you reading this know, she knows what true spiritual warfare is and how to use it with full force.

    This was written with true godly wisdom! Well Done Carmen!

  9. I am so glad that I read your post today. Praying for our home and family is serious stuff. The enemy loves to see families fall apart. I have been since 2006 and we have a six year old boy and four year old girl. I appreciate my family and they are my treasures sent from above. But I take my home for granted and my family. I strongly believe that we should never go to bed mad at one another.. We forgive before we turn the lights out. Honestly though I don’t always forgive before I go to bed and I do wake up angry. But I realize that going to bed with a bitter heart makes lots of room for he enemy to bring division. Your post causes me to take prayer more serious. Thank You for writing and speaking God’s word.

  10. You have a lot of wisdom here, Carmen! I especially love this: ” If you think the enemy is sleeping next to you every night or maybe wearing ear buds and listening to music a few rooms over, you would be wrong.”

  11. Great words and truth! We are at war! This is real and we need to remember that it is real! Thank you for sharing. Praying blessings over your home and family!

  12. Beautifully said! And what a reminder: we are in a battle for our families, and that battle is won on our knees. Thanks Carmen!

  13. Hey, girl!!! GREAT message; thanks for being obedient and sharing. I have prayed over shoes, clothes, cars, PICTURES of them